Sunday, December 2, 2007

Polls Decide Truth, So Amillenial It Is!

We are relieved to announce that our eschatology poll has come to an end. Since the poll has ended, an overwhelming majority of you have spoken. 54% of you voted in favor of amillenialism. And now that we have a consensus, we at Bring the Books are able to officially announce that this is the place to come whenever you feel that you are not welcome in your premillenial, dispensational, and yes, even in your postmillenial churches. That's right, because we listen to the crowds and have little or no mind for ourselves, we are officially christening this blog Amillenial World. This will, of course, be used as a nickname or unofficial title, since Josh and I still really like Bring the Books.

And, because popular vote decides truth (polls don't lie, after all), we are also pleased to announce that amillenialism is the official biblical position. It's been debated for thousands of years, and there's been alot of tough studying done by everyone involved, but you all knew there had to come a day when some resolution would finally be reached. That's right: this poll has settled it.

And in keeping with thousands of years of Church tradition, we have the difficult task of announcing that everyone who voted amill will be allowed to stay in their respective churches, while those who voted otherwise have until the end of the month to get their theology straight or vacate their posts.

It's a difficult time for everyone, and though this announcement is easier to make because we are, ourselves, amillenial, we know this will be best for everyone.

Again, you have until January 2nd 2008 to convert to the majority position of amillenialism. After that date, if you have yet to shift your eschatology, Adam will start posting Monty Python quotes, and Josh will be forced to upload videos of himself performing Social Distortion songs, acapella.

Again, we're sorry it has come to this point, but we feel the church is better served if we just pull off the band-aid quickly rather than drawing it out slowly and painfully. In ten years, you'll all look back at this moment and realize this really was the right way to go about it.

11 comments:

  1. Your comment at WedgeWords re Calvin and Federal Vision people using quotes from his writings was very wise and on-the-mark. It stood out.

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  2. Whoops, I see there are two people posting on this blog. My above comment of course refers to Josh (but I'm sure Adam is very wise too!)...

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  3. Thank you, have you posted on that blog? Under what name?

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  4. I'm under deep cover. OK, I was posting as 'James.'

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  5. Do I know you? Is James your real name?

    On a different note, why did you get put on "under admin. moderation."

    and if anyone care the link to the post that "ct" is refering to is http://wedgewords.reformedblogs.com/2007/12/03/temporary-partaking/

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  6. No, you don't know me. No, James isn't my real name. I guess I was put on moderation as a form of banning, since my last comment wasn't let through, and it was just a normal type comment. Look at the reaction to your comment. Federal Visionists have a dark spirit moving them. They are going after the heart of sound biblical doctrine, from inside the camps that still hold to it and proclaim it.

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  7. Yes, I am very wise. Wise enough to know NOT to recognize that I am wise. So I take it back: no, I am not wise. You are wrong. But thanks for playing.

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  8. Though it is flattering, we don't prefer to call it a dark spirit. In fact we like sound Biblical doctrine quite a bit.

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  9. The odds were you weren't really going to be wise.

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  10. Deleting comments because you disagree with the commenter is a sign of a shallow and usually legalist mindset. You should try to see this in yourself and develop out of it.

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  11. CT, your post was not simply removed because we disagreed with what you said (whether we do or not is irrelevant). Your post was removed after we discussed it amongst ourselves and decided that in the interest of Christian love we would not tolerate hateful comments (such as implying that other Christians have satanic beliefs). This type of exaggeration, hyperbole, and offensive language may be welcome on your OWN blog, but after much discussion we agreed that your post crossed a line. The free exchange of ideas here is welcome, but you are not welcome to use the kind of language you used.

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