Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Onion Understands the American Church

The Onion: Church Cancelled Due to Lack of God. After reading this satirical article in the Onion, I wonder how many churches shouldn't just close up shop anyway. After all, this piece isn't that far off. How many churches just keep doing church because they don't know of any better place to get together and do some singing once a week? My favorite zingers :
“I enjoyed the lovely singing during church service, and was very sad to see it go, particularly because I am a lonely septuagenarian waiting to die,” Mabel Graskowsky, 78, said. “But then Pastor explained to me that there are groups who get together just for singing only, and I could go to any one I wanted whenever I wished. Just singing! None of that boring inbetween stuff I always slept through. I’m much happier now.”
“I’m meeting once a week, not Sundays but on Wednesdays, with anyone who cares to join me. We won’t be worshipping anybody, just practicing my favorite hobby, horticulture. I’ll admit, it doesn’t have the power to grant eternal absolution from earthly pain, but at least flowers are real. We must cultivate our garden.”
I fear that many people in churches feel this way, but they are unwilling to give up the feeling of togetherness, the country-club atmosphere, the potlucks, the pleasing music, some free wine and friendly conversation. If you took away those things and left only God, I fear most churches would close their doors - and I daresay such a thing would be for the better. In fact, I can't help but think that such a thing has happened in places like China where there is no room for superficial niceties. If going to church means you could be detained or killed, only the serious need apply. In America where church is by and large a place for entertainment and creature comforts, precisely the opposite principle is in play.

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