Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Pat Robertson Knows Why God Destroyed Haiti

We are so fortunate that Pat Robertson is continually receiving revelation from God. If it weren't for Pat's almost-super-secret link with the Almighty, we would have all simply believed this to be a terrible act of God's "frowning providence." But now, because the whole nation of Haiti apparently got together, slit their wrists in unison, and swore a big fat national pact with the devil, God waited two hundred and twenty years and then, because he all of a sudden remembered that voodoo pact that those evil Hatians' great-great-great grandparents made, He decided to level the entire country in an act of judgment.

How about this instead:

Pat Robertson is committing a most egregious sin by presuming to speak for Almighty God, most Holy Creator of heaven and earth. Instead of telling the world why Haiti is guilty, maybe he should focus on putting his own house in order.

Whether it's predicting that the end of the world would happen in 1982, predicting a massive terror attack to happen in 2007 (he conveniently claimed credit for averting it), or calling for the assassination of a world leader whose politics Robertson disagrees with, Pat Robertson has continually embarassed himself and, in my opinion, the faith he claims to speak for with his mindless and foolish prediction/finger pointing. To my mind, this is Pat Robertson's only function to society: every time a disaster strikes, he quickly moves in to make a political condemnation of the people upon whom the disaster fell.

*In light of the fact that some people have difficulty seeing sarcasm when it is in the printed form, let me assure everyone that my first paragraph is ENTIRELY sarcastic.


  1. Adam, that was brilliantly put. Thank you.

  2. I happened to enjoy that bit of sarcasm.
    Indeed. Good points and thank you for shaking out some of the P.R. crazy confusion.

    The earthquakes are devastating.

  3. Thank you for that post. I couldn't agree more! Lol, I quite enjoyed the sarcasm!

  4. Thanks Adam. I am a lifelong resident of Virginia and recently the tidewater area where Mr. Robertson calls home. I completely agree with you and enjoy lighthearted sarcasm however I would also enjoy hearing a positive, balanced reformed view of this tragedy.

  5. Tim, let me offer you a poem by John Piper which I think, for me, put awesome perspective on this tragedy: A Poem About Jesus in Haiti

    Just because the earthquake did not strike us here in the United States does not mean that we do not deserve it. Perhaps that is what I have found the most offensive about Robertson's words. The presumption that Voodoo makes Haiti worthy of absolute destruction, yet America's hellish list of evils is somehow protected for one reason or another?

    You may just see something from me in the coming days, Tim. I have a lot to say, and I don't always like being sarcastic.

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  7. Adam, Your comment about America is well worth deeper elucidation and I hope you do write something soon. This kind of bad/hellish doctrine needs to be fought with good doctrine, biblical doctrine. I will read Dr. Pipers poem... thanks. (BTW Martin Luther was one the most sarcastic theologians in history. How can you expose the foolish teachings of these "ministers" without making the subject look a fool. Sarcasm used constructively can have an amiable quality.)


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