"Middle age is truly miserable, according to a study using data from 80 countries showing that depression is most common among men and women in their forties.
"'It happens to men and women, to single and married people, to rich and poor, and to those with and without children,' Oswald said. 'Nobody knows why we see this consistency.'
"One possibility may be that people realize they won't achieve many of their aspirations at middle age, the researchers said.
"Another reason could be that after seeing their fellow middle-aged peers begin to die, people begin to value their own remaining years and embrace life once more."
About a year ago, I hit this really depressing period where I was reflecting on my life and I just came to this point where I felt I would never accomplish all the things I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to be a famous writer, I wanted to teach theology at a university, and sometimes I wanted to be a courageous missionary.
Now, hypothetically, all of these things could still happen (I do lack the drive, though). But if I was struck with the depressing notion of never accomplishing anything beyond what I already have, does that mean that I'm middle-aged right now? And if I am middle-aged right now, then that means I'll be dead by the time I'm 50.
That's right; this is what my mid-life crisis looks like: since I can't buy a sports car, I'm collecting records and riding a bicycle to work, my idea of an affair is my man-crush on Larry Mullens Jr., and my idea of a wild party is having two cups of coffee instead of one whilst listening to a Beach Boys record.
Well, all of you schmucks are left wondering how long you'll live, but I have my answer: 50. So now I can sleep easy; at least until my 49th birthday.